I read this and was just swept away… serves as a reminder to always seek…

Explaining Away Light- Jill Carattini

Ballet lost some of its wonder when it was explained. It was a class that was supposed to lift my mind, lighten my spirit, and boost my grade point average. Instead it became a one-credit nightmare: a class dedicated to dissecting moves I could not duplicate, within a semester that seemed to slowly dismember my fascination with dance.

Explanations sometimes have a way of leaving us with a sense of loss. Students note this phenomenon regularly. Expounded principles of light refraction and water particles seem to explain away the rainbow, or at least some of its mystique. Air pressure, gravity, and the laws of physics deconstruct the optical mystery of the curve ball. Knowledge and experience can leave us with a sense of disappointment or disenchantment.

I recently read an article that scientifically explained the glow of a firefly. The author noted the nerves and chemical compounds that make the “fire” possible, pointing out that it is merely a signal used for mating and far from the many romantic myths that have long surrounded it. I put the article down with a sigh. And then a thought occurred to me in a manner not unlike the promise of Christ: The light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not overcome it.(1) Where nerves and photocytes seem to explain away the glow of the firefly, have we any more erased the miracle of light?

However accurate or inaccurate our explanations might be, they sometimes have a way of leading us to short-sided conclusions. They have also led us to outright incongruity. We have now tried with great effort to define humanity as an impersonal product of chance, an adult germ in a vast cosmic machine. We have brusquely described life as a tale told by an idiot, signifying nothing, only to claim this should not lead us to despair. We have declared our appetites the gods of a better religion, while insisting both God and religion to be an invention of the human psyche. We scoff at the notion of a savior who frees the captive or restores the fallen, while maintaining we live with every qualification for human dignity, distinction, and freedom. But are these even realistic applications of our own philosophies? Do the explanations warrant the conclusions?

On the contrary, we are undermining our own mines. In the words of R.C. Sproul, we are living on borrowed capital. Why should a product of chance have intrinsic value? Why would an impersonal, cosmic accident see herself as a personal, relational being worthy of dignity? What we are attempting to explain away in one sentence, we are arguing for in the next.

Explanations need not always lead us to the conclusion that all is lost. But neither should our explanations lead us to conclusions that contradict our own accounts! Thankfully, in both cases, there are times in life where we find, like Job, that we have spoken out of turn and discover there may be more to the story. After sitting through the whirlwind of God’s 63 questions, Job exclaims: “I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know” (Job 42:3).

The invitation is before us. “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and hidden things that you have not known” (Jeremiah 33:3). God’s presence can be overlooked, but it cannot be explained away; the effort is as futile as the attempt to explain away the miracle of light.

Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

(1) See John 1:5.

In today’s Slice, Jill Carattini brought something to my heart to ponder… she notes,

“[...]Yet if the universe has always been a disordered series of time plus matter plus chance, how do we account for the intricate orderedness to life, the uniformity of nature, or even the intricacy of the very mind that asks the question? [....]

Scribbled on a note card, a quote by Frederick Buechner marks the page of one of my favorite Scriptures: “We learn to praise God,” it reads, “not by paying compliments, but by paying attention.” In fact, much of Scripture is a call to remember and take notice, to bear in mind the stories of God in history and to fix one’s eyes on God’s presence in the world today.”

Jill concluded with describing,

“The verse I have marked with a reminder to pay attention was written by one who did just that: “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars that you have established; what are human beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them? [...] Yet you have made them a little lower than God, and crowned them with glory and honor” (Psalm 8:3-9). David lived with an eye on the kingdom of God around him, and as such, throughout his days, he remembered there is a king. “O Lord, our Sovereign, how majestic is your name in all the earth!”

 This stirs my heart… and serves as a reminder to stay present.

Did you know?  Have you ever actually seen a real miracle?  I know out of all the things, this seems like the least of these, but our kitten Torpedo… he is a miracle with fur.  He is a miracle that purrs.. he is a miracle that demonstrates the gift of love, and the power of love, and the true power that using your God given gifts can and does heal others.  The vet who called us on the weekend and offered her time and abilities and care… giving us her heart’s true care and love, brought us healing in every way.   She literally brought our hearts a hope that we can touch in this precious kitten.  He’s all well… he has no burdened breath, he has an amazing appetite for a creature that is so small, and he has a  personality that gives us such joy to witness and interact with.

I cannot explain the several different levels of patience and trust we labored to walk through, as we not only tried to keep a hope alive that something magical was possible, but that we waited in a level of faith that showed us it was ok to hope, and indeed, vital to hope and pray and to be patient with God because His love is beyond the measure of this time and space continuum.

I know people have prayed for miracles and seemingly not recieved them… I myself have been in this position… to pray for healing of someone who is battling to live and survive over cancer that is invading their body.  I can’t explain why I would be given so much grace and love as to have this little kitten be healed by the outstretched love of a person who only had themselves to give.  But that’s what happend, and I dare only realize that it was a gift, both for my innermost heart, as well as for the hearts of my children who dared to hope.  Just as the kitten struggled to breath on the edge of life, we were given the opportunity to demonstrate our hope one breath after another.

Jill Carattini wrote beautifully in today’s Slice of Infinity,  ”There is something about suffering and despair that brings us to strain our ears for the voice of God. Where we have written God off as silent, where we have lived with the suspicion of a distant or demanding ruler, there is a compulsion within our pain that forces us to listen. There is an image of Christ who carried the same burden. And it is met with the promise of one who speaks: This sickness will not end in death.” 

The vet said that she did not think the kitten would have made it throught the weekend if no action was taken…. I know, I know, this all sounds so simple, it’s just a kitten afterall.  To some he may be just that, a 4 1/2 week old kitten who got the medical care he needed and therefore he survived.  But to me, to my heart, he is a miracle and a testament to the power of love and sharing our gifts and to the goodness of a God who hears and nothing is too small for Him to touch.  Love comes in every color and flavor out there, I believe it has no bounds as to who it can effect and who it can heal.  There is no one who cannot give it, and although some have a hard time recieving it, it still touches them just like water touches soil when it rains. 

A reminder to myself: 
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. ~ Romans 12:12

I still have yet to fully understand God in His mysteries, but today I have a miracle with fur that makes my heart have a deeper knowledge of all things beautiful that just a few days ago I struggled to find the hope to see.

Remember this Monica… 

“There are some words that require our laboring over them, some truths that are too weighty to be tossed lightly into the laps of friend or enemy.”  Jill Carattini, in RIZM writing “Speechless”

I don’t quite know how to fully articulate this, but there are some things floating around my head that I want to journal out.  This is not profound, nor is it complete, it is mearly a glimpse into a train of thought that is atop my mind.

Recently the kids and I saw Horton Hears a Who,  about an elephant in the jungle, named Horton, who heard voices coming from a speck as it floated by.  He caught the tiny speck on a fuzzy looking clover and he listened, heard, and believed that there indeed was life on this speck, populated by Whos.  Horton realized that the safety of the life on this speck rested solely on him, and he was determined to place it securely on the top of Mount Nool.  But during his trek and journey, he was faced with great odds and opponents.  In the jungle, a mother kangaroo character was set against Horton from the start.  She urged Horton that it was all in his mind, on the basis of this logic, “if you can’t see it, if you can’t hear it, or if you can’t feel it, then it’s not real.”  This kangaroo character goes so far as to get others to do her dirty work for her, finding a soulless old eagle to fit the bill and try to please her by managing get the fuzzy clover.  The eagle is partially successful, but Horton never gives up.  He tirelessly keeps his mission in mind, he stays focused on the task at hand, and he continues with his purpose of getting the Whos to safety.

The story concludes with Horton finding himself rejected by several of the animals in his community because he won’t denounce what he hears and give over the clover with the speck on it to be destroyed.  The community of the jungle gang up on him (minus a trusty believing few), and they outnumber him and literally force him into a cage where he is powerless.   At the last moment, the Whos make enough sound (and the Whos here… what’s happening in their world is a whole other storyline!) to be heard by someone else in the jungle… the kangaroo’s little boy who lives in her pouch.  He hears the Whos, and tells everyone to quiet down, and then everyone in the jungle group hears the Whos chanting in unison “We are here, we are here, we are here!”

You cannot believe how I watched this movie drama unfold from this special and sometimes fragile place in my heart, for Horton heard the Who, and despite the fact that he couldn’t see the people on the tiny speck, or feel the people on the tiny speck… he knew what he heard, and what he continued to hear, and he just believed.  He didn’t change his mind when things got difficult, he did not ask for the Whos to prove that they were real, he just believed what he heard.  I was filled with joy when Horton pursued what he set out to do… his mission, and in the end rescue these precious lives.

Today… there was an awesome Slice of Infinity (to follow below).  Very stirring picture she revealed… it certainly does turn my heart reflection in both directions, in and out.  Many times I have paused on Jesus’ disciple Thomas and identified with him… my faith (or lack of) in certain seasons has literally prompted me to ask Jesus for a tangible feel of His hands to see if I could indeed touch holes that are noted to be there.  I’ve spent many prayerful nights with the desire to be heeded and encouraged by Jesus to be faithless no longer, just as He shepherded Thomas.

03/20/08 – A Doubting Thomas
Alison Thomas

One night when I was in college, I went to what I thought was going to be an ordinary concert. After playing some music and singing a few songs, the Christian musicians passed out index cards to all of us young college students in the room. They said the cards were for us to anonymously write down any barriers to faith that we were struggling with. I filled up every inch of that little 3 x 5 card with tough objections to Christianity that I had heard from professors and classmates. I turned in my card and waited eagerly for them to provide detailed answers to each question. But that is not what happened. They invited us instead to close our eyes and begin a time of prayer about the things we wrote down. I must admit, I was a little disappointed. I wanted instant, verbal answers to my questions–not a moment of silence. Reluctantly, I bowed my head, closed my eyes, and started to think about some of the questions I wrote down. Just when I was starting to get into it, my prayer time was interrupted by a strange clanking sound that I found very distracting and untimely. I opened my eyes and looked up to see where the racket was coming from, and when I did, my heart sunk. Each index card full of tough questions and objections to faith was being nailed to a big, wooden cross. As I listened to the sad sounds of the hammer striking the nails, I heard a different kind of answer to my questions–one that was both heartbreaking and hopeful all at once. It was an answer that I wasn’t expecting, and sadly, one that I was usually all too quick to try and ignore.

As we journey to the Cross this Lenten season, we are reminded of the importance of looking inward and examining the state of our hearts before God. Spiritual introspection is a crucial part of growing in faith. But we cannot forget in the midst of all our self-reflection to look outward, to Jesus, just as doubting Thomas did. We read in John 20:25 that after Thomas was told the news of the resurrection, he said, “I won’t believe it unless I see the nail wounds in his hands, put my fingers into them, and place my hand into the wound in his side.” In verse 27, Jesus replied, “Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don’t be faithless any longer. Believe!” Jesus allowed Thomas the dignity of carrying his doubts to the very one who carried the Cross. He did not ask Thomas to bury his questions, but offered him the most convincing answer available–himself.

In our quest for absolute certainty, we long to find comprehensive answers to the mysteries of faith. Yet as Alister McGrath reminds us, “The things in life that really matter cannot be proven with certainty–whether they are ethical values (such as respect for human life), social attitudes (such as democracy) or religious beliefs (such as Christianity)…there will always be an element of doubt in any statement that goes beyond the world of logic and self-evident propositions. Christianity is not unique in this respect; an atheist or Marxist is confronted with precisely the same dilemma. Anyone who wants to talk about the meaning of life has to make statements that rest on faith, not absolute certainty. Anyway, God isn’t a proposition–he’s a person!”

The same nail-scarred hands of the person that reached out to doubting Thomas reach out to us today with assurance and compassion. In his poem “The Ancient Sage,” nineteenth-century British poet Alfred Lord Tennyson writes:

For nothing worthy proving can be proven
Nor yet disproven; wherefore thou be wise
Cleave ever to the sunnier side of doubt
And cling to Faith beyond the forms of Faith!

This holy week, instead of clinging to truth in propositions alone, let us rest in the embrace of the person who embodies it.

Alison Thomas is itinerant apologist with Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

So… I’m stirred by the way that Horton heard the Who and believed in the Who, even though he could not see the Who, or touch them.  While I often find myself sitting on a fence of being like Thomas, of needing that extra touch or feel to believe, even though I’ve been given the Word, or I ask Jesus for more proof to just understand.  The point is, that I have heard!  Yet still, I need a little extra at times.  Why can’t just hearing it be enough, even during the times when I am facing opposition?  How easily I turn into the kangaroo instead of remaining a Horton. 

One thing that I really really love… is that Jesus wanted Thomas… Jesus knew Thomas’ heart, Jesus was the object of Thomas’ faith and Jesus also initiated Thomas’ heart to believe.  Jesus transcends our ability to believe in Him, and not only that, but He continues to reveal Himself upon our very expressed desires to understand more of Him, even tough he doesn’t have to.  He brings us closer to Him through our circumstances, which He uses as a vehicle to transport us into His very presence.  He enables us to come closer by putting within us His Spirit to dwell, prompt, and face together the unknowns and unanswered questions, with the hopes of finding truth.

The other thing that I really really love, is that Thomas is true to himself.  Despite not knowing internally the full identity of Jesus, he places trust in Jesus and follows him.  Even though Thomas does not fully comprehend the full depth and purpose of Jesus, he set out to follow and place faith, even if his faith wasn’t full bodied.  Thomas didn’t have all the answers in the beginning, he questioned openly where he had questions, and he remained true to the person that God created him to be.  I love that when Jesus comforts His disciples in John 14:1-7,

1“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. 2In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. 4You know the way to the place where I am going.”

 5Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?”

 6Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

Thomas questions Jesus openly, in front of the other disciples, trying to clear up what he didn’t quite get, “we don’t know where you’re going… how are we supposed to know the way?” and Jesus answered Thomas not with criticism or belittlement, but with the assurance of a promise “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”  Jesus allowed Thomas to grow, to assess, to question, to wonder, and later to feel, and then to believe.  Jesus knew Thomas’ heart, He knew it from the inside out.

I don’t quite know how this all comes together in my head and heart. 

The Horton, the Who,
or the angry Kangaroo,
or Thomas, or Jesus,
or the Cross I need to nail my own 3×5 card to… 

I see that Thomas was comfortable in who he was, comfortable enough to ask Jesus questions.  Jesus was of course accepting of who Thomas was, and as Alison beautifully stated, “Jesus allowed Thomas the dignity of carrying his doubts to the very one who carried the Cross. He did not ask Thomas to bury his questions, but offered him the most convincing answer available–himself.”

Horton didn’t give up on his mission, and he didn’t question if he should or if what he was doing was important, he just believed in what he heard and stayed focus on that truth.  While the kangaroo was afraid to admit to her questions to Horton of “how do you know that there is something on that speck?” or the kangaroo was too afraid of admitting the simple fact that she didn’t believe only because she couldn’t hear it.  Was she so fearful that she couldn’t entertain the possiblity?  Her defense was that she was protecting the animal children of the jungle from not believing something that was false, yet this reasoning itself blocked her ability to consider if it actually held truth.  The Bible says “perfect love casts out fear…” 1 John 4:18.

Questions can lead to truth, and “faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” (Romans 10:17)  What stops us from asking sometimes?

Today’s Slice of Infinity spoke so much today. It explained in a way that sometimes we need to sink, in order to realize there is nothing we can do than be saved by the grip and grace of Jesus.

Betsy Childs writes “A Twofold Hope”:

When you experience a season of victory and fruitfulness in your Christian walk, do not forget that we are entirely dependent on the strength that God provides. We must not become so enamored with walking on water that we take our eyes off of Jesus. And in those times when you do take yours eyes off of him, and you feel yourself sinking, do not give up hope. All is not lost. When we fall into God’s grace, we remember that Christ is both the Author and Finisher of our faith, and we will never cease to need him.

Today’s Slice of Infinity was a good read:

Fix Your Gaze by Betsy Childs

Fortunately, the book of Hebrews presents another way. The author writes, “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 2:2). The only infallible guide down the narrow path is Jesus Christ. It is only when our eyes are on him that our lives are in proper balance. The Christian life is a Cross-centered life. But Jesus is not a principle; he’s a person. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever, but the narrow path twists and turns. He’s a moving target, and you can only follow him if you fix your gaze on him.

I get this daily email called “Slice of Infinity,” and today’s was a timely read for me, called the The Road to Expectation, written by Jill Carattini, who amazes me… she writes:

<em>”There are certain hopes in each of our lives that shape our worldview, orient our feet, and provide that sense of coherence for life’s most plaguing questions. But if we come to a place where that hope seems to let us down, it may have been a hope that was not intended to hold such authority. Or, the hope is worthy but our expectations have taken precedence. In any case, reality must be our goal and truth our path, for the lure of expectation and predisposition is profound.

The disciples’ passionate hope in Christ was visibly deflated because they allowed their expectations to act as thorns. They did not expect the one who would deliver Israel to fall in any way. Not only was Jesus betrayed and sentenced to suffer at the hands of men, he was crucified�a death reserved for criminals�a death which symbolized the curse of God. And while they believed in Christ’s work and word, they believed that death had the final word. How often I have reacted similarly, finding the law of nature, the law of returns, the law of unintended consequences more authoritative than the laws of God.

The disciples’ expectations so ordered their sense of reality, that they were blinded from the reality of Christ in their midst even as they philosophized together. Their hope in Christ was accurate; it was their expectation of that hope that blurred their vision and left them in the murky waters of an incoherent mess.

Even today many travel along countless roads of life, discussing hope and disappointment, points of insight and confusion. When the disciples reached their destination, they sat down with their fellow traveler and broke bread together. And Luke reports, at that moment, their eyes were opened and they recognized the one among them.

Perhaps one day we, too, will ask as the disciples did that day, “Were not our hearts burning within us while he was talking with us on the road?” (Luke 24:32). Hope in Christ is recognizing the reality of his presence even when we may least expect him.”

Today’s Slice of Infinity was titled “Things To Do” by Jill Carattini. I’m always jaw dropped to read when someone spells out in such a way what my heart loves to hear, as well as what it sadly needs to be reminded of. She writes:
“In prayer, as in conversation with friends, we unearth with words things about ourselves and the One to whom we speak. Each trouble on our heart, each person on our mind is known and remembered by God. Before Him, along with each task or dream on our lists, we are laid bare. To approach God in prayer with the knowledge that He hears is a gift continually ours.”

I love how prayer moves as I do… my conversations with God flow through layers of thoughts, motives, feelings, fears, insights, etc…. and through the changing seasons of my individual days. What I love most, is that when I awake in the middle of the night, for seemingly no appearant reason, the first thing I do is immediatly run to my Father in prayer, seeking His presense in the moment, just to say hi or to tell Him thank you… some nights I am kept awake with longer conversations with Him… but I always feel like it’s either me or it’s Him, waking me up to just talk more to Him.

Monday’s “Slice of Infinity” was beautiful.Betsy Childs with RZIM wrote “Canyons of the Spirit” and I’m excerping a bit because it was so delicious. Note to self… reread this Monica… let it live in you.

There is more than one way for a canyon to be formed. They can be carved quickly by the rapid erosion of a rushing river or a melting glacier. Or, they can take years to form, hewn by the steady trickle of a stream running through limestone.

No one can encounter power of Living Water and come away unscathed. Sometimes, the most dramatic canyons take a lifetime to carve.

++please continue to remap me Lord with Your Living Water. clear away the obstructions that hinder the rushing of Your life over my spirit. flow and flood the landscape of my heart. saturate me.++