Sometimes I really want to write something.  Its as if there is a need to just put words together in a sentence, and then put a sentence after that.  But the paralyzing thought always comes first “what should I write about?” and that usually leaves me grasping at straws for some kind of topic, which never seems to reveal itself.  Just like this, I’m grasping at straws and spelling out this process.

I think from time to time that I would like to write something, like an article for the paper, maybe I could be one of those cute regular columnist, or maybe I could write a book… and be a new JK Rawling.  But, truth be told, I just don’t know how to get from here to those places.

Perhaps you just have to write, even if you don’t have anything at all to say.  Just write for the sake of writing, to stay in practice if you will, so that when you do have something you really have to say, you can say it, spell it, write it, breath life into it.

Perhaps I should practice more… but I have a problem with that damn backspace key erasing whatever I put down, when I do put it down… that key and that little pinkie finger that reaches up to push it have a life of their own and act as a censor because in all truthfulness, what I have to say sometimes is rather insignificant.  I guess there is a point that even if its insignificant, it needs to be said.

It’s amazing how just working during the day can cause me to be mentally wiped out.  I come home and I feel about as withit as a sea slug.

You know what that is don’t you??? Any guesses???

It’s the best place to sleep on our aging king size matress… you know, it’s the spot that is the origional matress that no one regularly sleeps on. It’s like new, with barely any body imprints, and I didn’t know about it until a few months ago when Mike said, “this is the best spot.” I’m so glad he shared the information. The problem is that I can’t sleep on it when Mike is still in bed, otherwise the wingspan I have to have with my arms as I hold my pillow while I sleep on my stomach gets in his way. Luckily for me, there is a time when I do get to sleep on it… on the days that Mike gets up for work at 3:51am. Somehow on those days I just wake up there. I must just slide over until I’m sleeping on the comfy spot.

I guess it’s a sign that we should get a new matress in the near future. Imagine the comfort and sweet dreams I’d have. aaahhh….. until then, thank God for the hump in the bed.

Verrry interesting, wouldn’t you say?

02/09/2004 17:59:32 suppository children melting (Yahoo)
02/09/2004 13:32:49 dying to self daily (Google)
01/09/2004 22:03:17 “and all of you is more than enough for all of me” (Google)
01/09/2004 22:01:45 “and all of you is more than enough for all of me” (Google)
01/09/2004 18:31:00 angelo peaches (Ask Jeeves)
01/09/2004 17:24:17 freeze frame cakes (Google)
01/09/2004 16:57:39 dying to self daily (Google)
01/09/2004 16:04:37 female tattoo (Google)
01/09/2004 01:14:01 plays for children planting seeds (MSN)
31/08/2004 23:17:47 fruit of the spirit motherhood (Google)

Last night my husband and I were talking about tattoos and I asked him if he’d ever want one, to which he replyed that he wanted one of one of the drawings that Adair (our artistic nearly 5 yr. old) has done. He brought to mind several of his favorite pictures that she has portrayed, and it gave me the biggest smile… to think of him with a permanent reminder of her youthful expressions. : D

When I was growing up there were a few movies that I really loved, and to this day, I never tire of watching watching them. They have absolutely no educational value and their entertainment value is probably limited to only me, but for fun I will embarrass myself and list them! I think one summer, my friend and I watched the first three everyday, and on the funny parts, we would rewind and replay them, over and over and over and over until we were consumed by laughter. Here they are:
~Sixteen Candles
~Breakfast Club
~Weird Science
~Grease 2
~Top Gun
~Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
~Risky Business

Was she in the book?

Arwen If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Arwen, Elf, the daughter of Elrond. In the movie, I am played by Liv Tyler. Who would you be? Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

I’m so glad Marla keeps finding these ;D

There are many things that help compose me into the unique (or maybe not so?) person that I am. I read a post a while ago from Marla, and I pondered on the little things that contribute to my identity.

Here goes (laugh or shake your head in disgust if you want )
~ I love fonts for my computer, and I collect them. I have a disk with over 4000 on them, and I have at least 1100 installed on my computer right now. I can recognize many of them by name when I see them in advertisements, newsletters, magazines, and on web pages.
~ I have to sleep with the fan on speed 2. If the fan isn’t on, it’s too quiet to sleep and it feels too stuffy.
~ I break my mini blinds all the time and have to buy new ones.
~ I have one awesome brother who is 4 years older than me.
~ I love white shirts.
~ I’m not very good at staying organized.
~ I’m the kind of gal who gets up and gets ready everyday, regardless if I’m sick or not and even if I don’t have to go anywhere. I just feel more normal if I look normal.
~ To put myself through college, I worked as a barmaid & bartender at a local beer pub & grill.
~ After I graduated college, I worked at Planned Parenthood as a counselor for 3 years. *a hush falls over the group* In Utah though, PP’s don’t provide abortions, but they do give counseling and referrals for them.
~ My dad died when I was 7 1/2 years old.
~ My mom and step-dad were alcholics.
~ I love watching medical shows like “The Operation” and “Trauma- Life in the ER” on the Discovery Channel.
~ My Mom is my best friend.
~ I drink too much diet coke.
~ I LOVE chocolate.

…well, that’s all I have time for now, but I think I’ll add to this as more come to mind! ; )

Start a MEME and list the unique things about you!

When I was growing up in Southern California, my aunt Joan had kindof a “do it all maid” that she brought back from Mexico, whose name was Josefina (prounuced Ho-sa-fi-na). I’m pretty sure that the immigration officals didn’t know that Josefina was working for my aunt, but I did, and I loved her, even though I didn’t know how to speak or understand Spanish.

The picture I have of her in my memory is that she was a little woman, but with wise happy eyes, and wrinkles in her cheeks from a lot of smiling. She had long, dark, salt and pepper wirey hair that she usually wore up in a loose bun, but every now and then, I would see her with it down, and she would look younger than I thought possible. She lived in the upstairs bedroom/sewing room over the garage of my aunt Joan’s house, and she smoked Pall-Mall cigarettes outside the side door of the garage, while she sat on this little tiny stool, which made her look like a giant. She really did everything around my aunts house… the cleaning, laundry, fluffing the down pillows on the couch perfectly, and best of all, she prepared the food. She made the best homemade tortillas, refried beans, posole, carne asada, carnitas, and tamales I’ve ever had. My cousins, aunt, and uncle all learned and spoke Spanish over the course of time, and Josefina assimilated into a valued member of the family.

The things I remember most about spending time at my aunt Joan’s house, was feeding her chickens (which was a rarety in Newport Beach, Calif.!) and checking for eggs, as well as watching Josefina pat her homemade tortillas and cook them on the big hot plate. I think I started watching her when I was four or five and I continued until my teen years whenever I went to visit. When I was young, I remember her telling me stories in Spanish, even though I didn’t understand a word of it, I listened to her and nodded along while she made tortillas. Every now and then, she would ask me questions… I would just laugh and smile, and nod along as if I understood everything, I just wanted her to keep talking. I remember using her as a sounding board too, and I would tell her stories as well, going into vivid detail as though she understood it all. We continued to have conversations this way, which served to connect us even through the language barrier.

She lived with and worked for my aunt Joan and uncle Bill for as long as I can remember, even up until I graduated high school and moved to Utah. The last I heard, she retired and went back to live with her family in Mexico. I have always thought it would be so cool to find a Josefina to become a part of my family… maybe someday!!!