My friend Elysia posted a note on what and whom she celebrates… I am going try this as well amidst my blue funk. I think my thankfulness and my funk are sitting side by side, sharing a cup of coffee, and I’m betting my thankfulness is letting my funk share the gloom it sees and thankfulness is listening intently and finding all the silver linings that my funk knows are there, but is too emotionless or emotional to touch on them. So here goes, I will step toward the thankfulness to listen and journal what I hear from her, given that I gave a voice to my funk with my other recent post.

My thankfulness says:

I celebrate having sick days accrued so that I can use one on a day like today for my mental sanity and emotional well being. (ok, I realize this is small, but given where I’m at, it’s huge)

I celebrate my husband who lets me ebb and flow and loves me through it all and has been solid while I have felt wavering. I celebrate his approach to life, to not take things too seriously, and to escape into his cave (i.e. garage) whenever possible to work on stuff. I think it’s his escape and he regularly does it, and always with music playing in the background.

I celebrate when I get to see across the valley in the middle of winter, as opposed to the horrible air days when you can barely see across the street. Somehow when those clear days come, I sense less oppression on my soul.

I celebrate that I can’t imagine grace, and that I can’t imagine God. For both are just too big for me to try to grasp with my mind. This realization brings me to the truth that I can only live in today, because if I fret about tomorrow or next week or next year, God isn’t there, because Him and His grace are too big for me to imagine in those places. I can only see where He is in the NOW, and where He has just been in the days since passed.

I celebrate when people say things that make me think, that challenge my thoughts, and that confront my judgments. I celebrate when people take responsibility for their thoughts and feelings and how they affect others around them.

I celebrate the things I remember from my friends/family (the way the talk, the way they listen, the way they laugh, the way they write) that I have taken and adopted and made my own, so that person is always with me when I say or do or respond in the ways reminiscent of my friends. Somehow doing this makes me feel like I’m growing and adapting and always… becoming. I guess it’s plagiarism in a way, but I’ve put those things in my own words/actions per say, and so now they are me, mine, ours.

I celebrate it when people are honest, and brutally honest, as opposed to people who are passive aggressive people who manipulate others to try to get what they really want. I celebrate when others know what they want and are strong enough to say it, ask for it, and even beg for it. I don’t have to wonder with those honest people, I don’t have to guess, and most, I don’t have to feel like I’ve been manipulated by them.

I celebrate doubts, because in the doubts I have about myself, others, and even God, I feel like I am given a unique place to hold the truths I find. Like a key going into a lock. If I have a doubt, undoubtedly a truth will come to answer it, and fit it and unlock it to a new layer of understanding.

I celebrate where I am, even though I understand I don’t fully appreciate it.

I celebrate…
I celebrate…
I celebrate…

cel⋅e⋅brate –verb (used with object)
1. to observe (a day) or commemorate (an event) with ceremonies or festivities: to celebrate Christmas; to celebrate the success of a new play.
2. to make known publicly; proclaim: The newspaper celebrated the end of the war in red headlines.
3. to praise widely or to present to widespread and favorable public notice, as through newspapers or novels: a novel celebrating the joys of marriage; the countryside celebrated in the novels of Hardy.
4. to perform with appropriate rites and ceremonies; solemnize: to celebrate a marriage.
–verb (used without object)
5. to observe a day or commemorate an event with ceremonies or festivities.
6. to perform a religious ceremony, esp. Mass or the Lord’s Supper.
7. to have or participate in a party, drinking spree, or uninhibited good time: You look like you were up celebrating all night.

I celebrate… I dare say I even celebrate my me, my me in a blue funk and out.  My me is different than any other you, but its so similar as well.

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