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Thinking ahead to summer, I am needing to figure out what to do for child care for my kids now that I am working. I’m not quite sure how this will all work out, but it’s January, so if I start planning now, hopefully it will be covered. In the past I’ve paid $35/day for a sitter to come and watch the kids in my home… from when the rooster crows at 7:30am until Mike gets home from work at 4pm. That’s a really long day, and honestly not that much pay in my opinion, but for a 13 yr. old, maybe it is better than nothing.
Possibilities include my mom coming for bits of time, for the kids to go stay at Rolf & Eve’s for bits of time, and or for Mike to go to swing shift for the summer months.
Wondering how this will work… have never had to consider this in the past.
I saw this on a fellow stitchers blog… what a beautiful description to keep in mind as I go through deep reflections while stitching… what a picture….
God’s Embroidery
When I was little, my mother used to sew a great deal. I would sit at her knee and look up from the floor and ask what she was doing. She informed me that she was embroidering. As from the underside I watched her work within the boundaries of the little hoop that she held in her hand, I complained to her that it sure looked messy from where I sat. She’d smile at me, look down and gently say, “Son, you go about your playing and when I am finished with my embroidering, I will put you on my knee and let you see it from my side.” I would wonder why she was using some dark threads along with the bright ones and why they seemed so jumbled from my view.
A few minutes would pass and then I would hear Mother’s voice say, “Son come sit on my knee.” This I did only to be surprised and thrilled to see a beautiful flower or sunset. I could not believe it, because from underneath it looked so messy. Then mother would say to me. “My son, from underneath it did look messy and jumbled, but you did not realize that there was a plan on the top. It was a design. I was only following it. Now look at it from my side and you will see what I was doing.”
Many times through the years, I have looked up to heaven and said, “Father what are You doing?” He has answered, “I am embroidering your life.” I say, “But it looks like such a mess to me. It seems so jumbled. The threads seem so dark. Why can’t they all be bright?” The Father seems to tell me, “My child, you go about your business of doing My business, and one day I will bring you to Heaven and put you on my knee and you will see the plan from My side.”
Author Unknown
In this small moment, I am at peace today…
with all that is, and all that will be for me…
this feeling is fleeting I know…
for tomorrow’s tomorrow might bring things that I will decide I must fret over…
or I will fret over them without ever thinking first if it even necessary…
we all know it isn’t.
But today, my heart holds a truth that I am contented…
with the me who I am, the quirks, the high pitched squeals, the geek, the girl, the hips, the split ends, the heart, the eyes, the all of me who I could list on forever.
Today all is well with my soul.
It’s amazing how just working during the day can cause me to be mentally wiped out. I come home and I feel about as withit as a sea slug.
It’s been a little while since my last post. I’ve felt a little inward, a little reflective, and somehow without a pen for my voice. It’s hard to know what to express here sometimes, even if it is just meant for me and my inner reflections. It’s hard to know what I should say to myself…
Maybe I don’t want to get that truthful with the me I am today… or the me that I will become one day as I reflect back on this space of words written out in digital format.
I don’t know if I want to come to terms with anything today, other than today is a the first new day of this new year… and it’s open and unwritten, ready for me to explore the empty pages of it and make it into whatever I may.
There is so much that I would like to admit to wanting to see happen… while yet still finding that admitting that I want things different, things new, things changed, things improved… but if I share them here to this space, then in some way I am admitting my responsibility to see them happen, or worse yet I am opening myself to knowing responsibility to admit my own lack if they don’t happen. I realize that if I do not mention them, the possibility exists that whatever they are could dry up or vaporize at any moment without ever having the chance at being realized because of having no accountability whatsoever.
But here, in this space, I am admitting them to myself. Here in this sphere of my heart, I am acknowledging that I want some things to be different, and some ways that I do want things to improve.
I find it interesting that we examine ourselves so closely on New Year’s Day… it seems that I should become aware of such longings everyday of the year, just as I am today. Or, perhaps not. Perhaps the perspective is too much to bear everyday… I think the day to day mundane-ness takes over and it helps me to lose my perspective of the long term… but today I see it, as if it’s tomorrow…
and I can see what I dream it could look like if x, y, and z occur.
