For the last several months I have felt as if I have stepped into a calling that God has for me, and yet I haven’t been outward in sharing what He has been expressing in my heart. I haven’t quite known how to speak of what’s occuring within me, on a personal level with my awareness to spiritual gifts that the Father has placed in my hand, or on a level where my relationships with those around me is evolving into something that the Father wants me to call out to Him on their behalf.

I feel the Holy Spirit prompting me from the left, right, top and bottom with people to pray for. Some people I haven’t seen in ages, others I saw just a day ago, and still a few more of people I have never met. Intercession is something I’m discovering that God is giving me a heart for, and yet, I at times find the depth of it alludes me. I’m trusting in my prayer language to voice the spiritual words, mysteries, and prayers that the Spirit wants to release into the unseen realm. The faith of my heart sees Christ collect these prayers in the Spirit into His embrace and I know that He will continue on with the intercession.

Although God has been releasing new wisdom to me, I am finding it odd that I don’t know how to explain it, either because it is so new to me and I don’t quite understand, or because the Spirit is still evolving it all within my heart and personalizing it to my uniqueness. Does that make sense? I’m awakening to a ministry of sorts, but it’s an inner ministry between God and I, that is soley based on praying and listening to Him to hear His heart. I am joyous over these new places He is taking me, because it’s so far deeper than I’ve ever known, and because I feel the Spirit guiding me to discoveries that I know God has been preparing for me. But knowing that I can’t put words to them or figure them out has been something that has gotten in the way of moving forward in them, and why recently I blogged on asking God to upturn the card catalogs of my analytical mind. I have been brought to a place to begin understanding in more depth what it means to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I want Him to manifest Himself boldly within me, and give me a continued deeper fire of desire to seek God’s heart.

Over the last several months, I have found that God is laying on my heart a glimpse into His heart…. and it’s SO huge, that I am overwhelmed with joy at this relationship with Him that He has always been there for me, but I have been unaware of it’s true presense. In some ways that this all is still too small to capture the way He is channeling my faith….. I can’t describe any of what He’s growing me into accurately, I simply don’t have a vocabulary for it yet.

My prayers are deepening, His response and presense is so much more appearant than I have ever dreamed. I am being challenged to see, feel, and know the true meaning of what having a new heart in Him is. I am learning to let go and dream with Him… for myself, for others, and most of all, to catch a glimpse into His dreams. My alone time with Him, whether I am silent in His embrace, or praying prayers in either my natural tongue, or in the prayer language that His Spirit within me gives me voice for, all this time with Him truly revealing to me, that He is my treasured place that I covet most. He has taken me to the doorway to His heart in prayer, which through I am free to come and go as my heart desires, or as I feel His Spirit invite me to join Him in divine appointments.

I am almost cautious to post this, because I am just learning how to hold and recognize this tip of the iceberg that the Spirit has lead me to step on. I also at times feel little lies from the accuser trying to get me to turn my attention from this in attempts to get me to rationalize my way out of it all. But then I know that the enemy has been the closest to God, and he knows the freedom of that inner chamber with God, and that is where his scemes are most vulnerable is if I am in that place with God. I am putting on the full armor of God and relying soley on Him to continue to show me the way.

++Lord, thank you for trusting me with the newness of all of this, and for transforming me with Your precious Spirit. I’m hungry for more of You.++