Everyday I get to watch my kids grow, and while I watch them grow, they help to grow me. In the first half of the day (wake up till nap time) my voice is softer and soothing and seemingly more mild when my kids act up or encounter problems playing, or sharing, etc. But towards the second half of the day, I start out with soft voice intentions, but eventually my first response to the problems that arise is barking. No, not like a dog, but barking corrections, redirections, or just their name in order to get their attention if they are doing something they aren’t supposed to. Because the barking occurs later in the day, I attribute it to me needing a break or something, but never the less, it’s something I HATE doing!

I know part of my job of being a parent is to lead, guide, and nurture them, by being consistent, etc. but sometimes it’s harder than I’m prepared for at any given moment. One moment I may have it all together, and give the perfect response and achieve the desired behavior from them! But in the very next situation it’s not always a guarantee that things will go that smoothly. I’m learning as I go, and even though I learned all about different theories of childrearing and child development while in college, it’s really not even something that comes to the forefront of my mind when I’m in the heart of making sure they can share the dump truck in the sand box, not throw sand, and not yell at the top of their lungs. Sure, I have and have read all the good books, “Parenting with Love and Logic,” “Sheparding your Child’s heart,” and any one of my textbooks from school and every now and again, I’ll draw from them, but not consistently. I have a hodge-podge of responses and more often than not, I just turn to God and say, “help, what should I do? what would You do?” or “oh boy, why did I just do that??”

I’ve been trying to set the filter in the fruit of the Spirit, being that before I immediatly give my first response, I should check to see if it fits with the fruit of the Spirit, if it doesn’t, I need to figure out a way to correct or redirect my own response according to the fruit.

The Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Gal. 5:22-23.

Sounds like it should be easy enough, but I inevitably forget and find myself barking again.

I’m sure I judge myself harder than I ought, but these are my children here! They deserve better. It’s funny how parenthood requires more than you thought sometimes.