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I was thinking of my earlier post and I think I missed mentioning something… consistency. I think that is why my patience weans at times because I have to try to stay consistent as a Mother, and that takes a lot more focus on my part…
*hugs*
Do I take advantage of all my “teachable opportunities” with my kids? Definetly not. Why is that? Somehow I lose my patience, but someone once told me that a Mother’s patience is like toothpaste in an almost empty tube… if you squeeze it, you will still get some more. Continually I think that finding my patience is like an long endurance marathon, something that for one, you have to train for… so, I need to be filling myself with the heart of Christ, the Word, and with all the direction of the Holy Spirit to direct my attention the opportunities provided through Him. Then, I need to remember that during the race itself, I need to stop for water regularly, make sure I breath right, and stay focussed. So, to maintain my patience as a Mother, I need to keep my focus, but not on my kids necessarily, but on Christ’s love, so that everything just eminates from Him in my heart. But mind you, I’ve never ran a maraton, or even trained for one, but I do know what endurance is, and it is nothing without focus, and for me, I need to focus on God’s love and grace, to keep Momzilla at bay. Will I fail at times, inevitebly, but thankfully, God is right there with me.
*hugs*
I don’t know how to put this, but I feel like over the last week, I have entered into God’s expansive place. In the silent moments that I get, when I center my thoughts on Him, I am enveloped by His expansive love. If I were to find a way to describe it visually, I feel like I’m looking outward into this vast beyond belief clearing with lush grass and scenery all around. I also feel somewhat bewhildered with trying to figure out what to do now that I am here, as well as that I now know how to get here. It’s like I’m looking around knowing there is so much for me to explore, touch and feel, and understand, yet I’m paralyzed by His immensity. Does that even make sense? He has brought me to a spacious place (Psa 18:19)… and I’m just in awe. It’s taken me so long to realize that He was here all the while, just waiting for me to be eager enough to seek progression in my walk with Him.
I have been writing so many little whooings, from God to me… (not posted…) and when I re-read them, I’m just experiencing wonderment because He is sharing with me so much.
I’m inspired and fixated….
*hugs*
There is a song I love, just because it has ice cream and chocolate in it… so I sing it now and then, and when I do, I realize that I am singing it as praise to God… here’s my take on Sarah McLachlan’s song titled “Ice Cream”, here are the lyrics first:
Your love is better than ice cream,
better than anything else that I’ve tried.
You’re love is better than ice cream,
and everyone here knows how to cry.
It’s a long way down…
It’s a long way down…
It’s a long way down to the place where we started from.
Your love is better than chocolate,
better than anything else that I’ve tried.
Your love is better than chocolate,
and everyone here knows how to fight.
It’s a long way down…
It’s a long way down…
It’s a long way down to the place where we started from…
Although Sara McLachlan probably didn’t write this song with a Christian angle, it’s praise music for me. Jesus Christ is like this for me… He’s sweeter than anything I’ve ever known, beyond the best chocolate, sweeter and more divine. And I am a chocolate hound… I mean, I feel unsteady if I know that there isn’t an ounce of it in the entire house, even if I don’t plan to eat it, just knowing that it’s in the cupboard if I want a little bite, it makes me giddy with excitement! This what God does to me… awakens me to excitement and eagerness in anticipation for what He is going to reveal to me next, through my physical enviornment, through His Word, and through His Spirit speaking to my heart.
So, back to the song… when it says “everyone here knows how to cry,” well, of course we do! We all have grief, uhnappiness, happiness and joy… and all those things are still ever more a sweet taste when you are filled with the love of Christ, as the pain isn’t so bad when you see it as loving discipline from Your Father, who is growing you (Heb 12:2-7).
When the song says “it’s a long way down to the place where we started from,” I see how far I’ve come through God’s ever present grace and love. It’s also a long way down to fall when I sin… knowing that He still paid for my unworthyness with His magnificent worth. Then when the song says “everyone here knows how to fight,” I see this as my own struggles with keeping Him at the center of my life, in every moment, in every situation… (when the kids are screaming and I turn into Momzilla, when I’m worrying or preoccupied, etc..) so many things distract me in my thoughts, that I lose the clarity of Him being in focus. When I lose the highlighted thought, to take every thought I have captive, to make it obedient to Him (2 Cor. 10:5), I am still reassured that He knows the deep desires of my heart… to try and step in tune with His love. Even though I sin and struggle at times,God’s love is STILL better than ice cream, chocolate or anything else that I’ve tried (past tense), and, will try in the future! Nothing will ever be sweeter than His love for me, nothing will be more delicious, scrumptions, and filling than being in His embrace….. just knowing that He is growing me… and allowing me to walk in His Word, and see Him all around me. The other awesome thing about Him… no calories, if anything, He has the power to make things weightless and leave your heart levetating inside your body.
Next time you eat a chocolate cookie, or a yummy morsel, remember that He is infinetly sweeter and more delectable…. Hunger for His love.
*hugs*
What is the heart of worship? It was discussed today at church… (John 4:1-24) and it is a great message for me to consider inbetween the thoughts that float across my mind.
First, in Ecc 3:11, God has put eternity on our hearts…. so, we will worship, but what we worship and how is our choice. Are we confusing worship when we think of the outer things? Such as buildings, tradition, places, or rituals… those aren’t worship. Worship is in the heart of intimacy, it is not ceremony, it is the place you make for Him in your heart. I am the building! Isa 66:1-2, Worship at the fundamental level with a contrite and humble spirit. In John 4:23, Christ says, there is a time coming and has now come when true worshippers will worship the Father in spirit and in truth (the cross…). Christ on the cross removed my unholiness and replaced it with His own… He gave me His…!!!! Unbelievable!
God the Father declared me as rightous as Jesus when I accepted Jesus into my heart and life!! Things and possessions don’t fill our hearts, outward things, they don’t fill our heart, only Christ does!
Is your relationship based in the traditional, external and outward expressions? What is truely in your heart? True worship is our giving freely to God our response to what He does in our lives. The more I am aware, the more I respond to Him. Worship is not just for Sunday in church… it is for all the moments throughout the day when we can be aware of His presence and hand in all that we do. Worship is not just for devotional time, for church or Sunday school, but throughout every day, and the moments that pass on the wings of butterflies. We are called to worship. “God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” Also read 1 Cor 12, Rom 12:1-2, Psa 100:2.
Last night while I was laying in bed… in the few minutes just prior to falling asleep, the thought occured to me… How do people know what to say in a eulogy?
from the Infinite Supply… today…
The Crisis Of A Christless Christianity “In Him dwells all the fullness of the Godhead bodily. And you are complete in Him…” (Colossians 2:9,10ff)
“Everything God has done, is doing, and will do is aimed at bringing us deeper into Christ, to finish what was begun in us when we first received Him. God is the One Who brings us through the Gate, and God is the One Who leads us along the Path. Everything God has done, is doing, and will do has the same purpose, and that purpose explains everything you have been through, everything you are going through, and everything you will go through.
Jesus is the Alpha from Whom all things in God are initiated, and Jesus is the Omega unto Whom all things of God find their purpose, their meaning, and their reason for being. Everything begins in Christ, and everything ends in Christ. He is the Beginning as well as the End.
Real spiritual growth occurs when we realize that God has only one goal for us, and that is, the full, mature, complete, and experiential knowledge of Jesus Christ. To the extent that we discard “things” and become focused wholly on Christ, to that extent we will make progress…”
worth rereading Monica…. worth it….
Today I went to a funeral… for Laverle from my church… I didn’t know her that well, but she was someone who I would have loved to know, who I wanted to know. Why didn’t I? There are others who I think that of too… I want to know Mary Ellen, Anna May, Valerie, Pamela, Ina, Barbara, Tammy, Sarah, etc… I could go on. I want to know these women on more than a face to face basis, they are my sisters in Christ. Well, with Laverle, I knew of her, and thought of her because of her statement one Sunday near Christmas during an open time of giving thanks… when she said loudly from her standard second row seat, with her make up applied to perfection and her fingernails neetly manicured with red polish… “I’m so thankful that I am saved by God’s grace, and not by faith alone….” What a wonderful conviction (which I have, but don’t always know how to put the words on it, especailly in a situation like that ; ) But she was just like that… at 70 years of age, I guess you just become more and more sure. At her funeral today, I heard about her, and I was so inspired, and I know that God spoke to me. I need to encourage more, and follow through on the thoughts of “oh I need to call so & so..” or, “oh, I need to drop a card to so and so…” but somehow in the midst of mothering, I often forget what the Spirit gently reminds me of. I’m so glad that God takes me aside to help me to understand more and more.
Just the other night, I was still in the Spirit’s presense and wrote down what I heard… here it is:
Be a voice for the inner expressed thoughts of the Spirit that speaks to your heart. In tune, aware, sensing, all that there is to hear. Found treasures.. of hope and hidden knowledge, speaking and sounding on the verge or intersection of the multitude of God’s heart’s desires.
You can magnify the thoughts, to words, to details, and patterns form, unity begins, upon the voices.
Expressed content, flowing over (and soothing) the sounds of setbacks, mirroring the deepness of claiming hearts. Found beauty, resolving the heartaches, wonderful emotions of growth, claiming, to constitute a Kingdom.
Beckoning you… blanketing your heart in submission to My own. For years… supplying rewards immeasurable to you. Flowing voices, intertwined in concert to One meaning, of naming Love, defining Love. Refreshment for gifts in the Spirit and mind, in the recesses of your heart. Beginning daily a new journey to discover Me. I AM HERE, IN YOU, WITH YOU, BESIDE YOU. I AM ALL AROUND YOU. Fathomless, beyond beauty, filling you. Glorify Me! Respect Me! Represent Me! I will unite wanderers into place, they are valued and important to Me. I AM the Peacemaker. Placate pondering souls with ONLY ME, surrounding them with voices of My love, in guidance and grace… to fill and refill. Movement in line- towards rest and reunion. Claiming hearts, to solidarity in Me. Flowering voices, speaking My heart,
breathing bouquets of My truth.
I AM spilling sunlight,
revolving doors,
with no ceilings,
open all hours.
Youth of calm voices, hearing and seeking, truth, justification, and reason. Regrettable youth- in motionless opportunities (they) all denied Me. Schemes, plans, obsticales, cheating the hearts surrounding the voices of spoken truths. Finding shattered hearts, giving restoration to soar
to smile, to rebuild, in process… to learn things over again.
at first I didn’t know who it was for, but I was tired, so I didn’t examine it to well, but went to bed as it was 11:30pm…. but the next day, I re-read it and thought, wow… I wonder who it’s for. LOL! After setting it down again, and reading it the following day, I saw myself…. and I was so moved that God blessed me with that part of His heart and a piece of the puzzle to help me understand some things more clearly. Much is reaffirmation, but I know that as I pray into it, He will undoubtedly reveal more depth.
I feel the warmth of being in the center of His embrace….
*hugs*
Some days, I have to remind myself how to solve all of my kids problems…. other days, it’s so easy & I am left feeling triumphant. On the days that I somehow don’t remember how to handle their conflicts & tears, or I try in certain ways that really don’t seem to help them deal with the emotions that overcome them, I feel such a sense of defeat. Thankfully, I know that if I can come to terms with it, and remember acknowledging the feelings that are causing their frustrations to peak to tears, I will have my chance again to right myself when they are crumble inevitibly later in the day or in the days to come.
Every now and again, Adair or Alec (and thankfully to God, it’s not at the same time) are more fragile and sensetive to a little thing that will set them to crumble more easily than on a “normal” day. I know what that is like… to feel so temporarily unable to cope, that everything gets too big inside myself… but in those times, I know the Spirit inside me offers up silent groanings of my need for renewal of strength and I know that I am filled… readily… and what’s interesting, is that I know that it was always there anyway, I am strengthened in Christ, continually, and when I find that I am in need, it’s because I am not centering my thoughts on His.
My children are growing me up…. I’m in debt to them, and they don’t realize their contributions to my soul…. I love them… but at times they try me. *hugs*
But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.- Romans 3:21-22 I have so much thankfulness for being saved by grace alone.
Going Undercover
This describes my days to a huge T~! One day I am Momzilla and the next I am Mom of the Year…. thankfully God sees my heart and forgives and accepts me.
“I’m going to admit it. I don’t have it all together as a wife and mom,” writes Christine Erickson. “What? You say. When I asked, you said you were fine, your kids were angels, and you had a smile on your face. Ah, yes. I can act the part. I really didn’t want you to think less of me.
“The truth is, one day I can be on top of my game. The right words roll off my tongue. I lovingly discipline.
“The next day, hour, or even minute, Momzilla has escaped from her cage and is climbing the roof with two young hostages. One night, when dinner hour rolls around and my husband is walking through the door, Mrs. Jeckyl is waiting – welcoming, warm and smiling. The next night it’s Mrs. Hyde – hair disheveled, hands over her ears, and mouth open in that silent scream.
“Oh, I can make excuses for Momzilla and Mrs. Hyde – the endless to-do list, clutter, missing time to myself, and whining children. It’s just hard to be real with you about it.
“While I might be fooling you, I’m so glad I don’t have to cover up for God. I can’t. He’s the one who made me. He sees my heart. At the end of the day, when I have messed up as a mom, He forgives me. He still loves me and accepts me – unconditionally and without any cover-ups.”
beautiful here today… the kids and I raked the leaf mulch in the backyard… we are eager to see each new day of Spring unfold… the change of seasons is a blessing..
Today’s Slice… was titled Something Understood, by Jill Carattini, and I’m soo loving it.
“‘Meditation in a Toolshed,’ C.S. Lewis recalls standing in a darkened shed, the sun brilliantly shining outside, but only a sunbeam peering through a crack at the top of the door. Everything was pitch black except for that prominent beam of light, by which he could see flecks of dust floating about. Writes Lewis:
‘I was seeing the beam, not seeing things by it. Then I moved, so that the beam fell on my eyes. Instantly the whole previous picture vanished. I saw no toolshed, and (above all) no beam. Instead I saw, framed in the irregular cranny at the top of the door, green leaves moving in the branches of a tree outside and beyond that, 90 odd million miles away, the sun. Looking along the beam, and looking at the beam are very different experiences.’ “
… last paragraph of today’s Slice Jill writes: “The psalmist writes, “May my prayer be set before you like incense; may the lifting up of my hands be like the evening sacrifice.” As we look to the evidences of God’s presence, may we increasingly find ourselves peering at God Himself, recognizing the One who recognizes us.”
yes indeed… smiles….
“Spiritual Rhythm:
In the days of raising small children, our spiritual life can seem out of rhythm.
My relationship with God does not always provide peace and assurance. There are other oh-so-familiar moments. Like the four-and-a-half-year wait to adopt a baby. Or the dark season of financial need. And oh, how I remember wondering where God had gone during my never-ending-mother-of-preschoolers days of sleeplessness, potty training and not enough of me. I’m bothered by God’s apparent inactivity in my days. The few quiet seasons of spirituality are tough to trust. I don’t like them.
Why should I? I live in a results-oriented world where value is assigned to the tangible, proven, completed, and graded entities. Slow, silent, beneath the surface, hard to measure – these aspects hold little interest – much less respect – for the average human.
The writer of the book of Ecclesiastes says, “There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven.” Live and die. Weep and laugh. Mourn and dance. Tear and mend. Push and pull. Life moves in rhythm. God made it that way. Why should our relationship with him be any different?
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Dear Lord, give us eyes to see your coming and going, ears to hear your voice and your silence, hands to hold your presence and your absence, and faith to trust your unchanging nature in all seasons.” MomSense Radio 3/18/04
++Lord… give us eyes to see your coming and goind, ears to hear your voice and your silence, hands to hold your presence and your absence, and faith to trust in your unchanging nature in ALL seasons!!! Amen!++
I need to revisit that often….
smiles…
For of Him, and through Him, and to Him, are all things, to Whom be glory for ever. Amen. (Romans 11:36)
well… I’m testing out a new skin for my blog… something a little more artistic than the standard ones that Blogger offers….
smiles,
monica
